wu wei. yes.

___________________________________________________________________________

Wu wei is a mental state
in which our actions
are quite effortlessly
in alignment
with
the flow of life. 

How.

How to stop time: kiss.

How to travel in time: read.

How to escape time: music.

How to feel time: write.

How to release time: breathe.

~ Matt Haig ~

    

          

            

dimmer switch of life

We could say that meditation doesn't have a reason

or doesn't have a purpose.

In this respect it's unlike almost all other things we do

except perhaps making music and dancing.

When we make music we don't do it in order to

reach a certain point, such as the end of the composition.

If that were the purpose of music then obviously

the fastest players would be the best.

Also, when we are dancing

we are not aiming to arrive at a particular place on the floor

as in a journey.

When we dance, the journey itself is the point,

as when we play music the playing itself is the point.

And exactly the same thing is true in meditation.

Meditation is the discovery

that the point of life is always arrived at

in the immediate moment.

- Alan Watts

The Bottom Line ~ Mooji.....

❤︎

hai.

Lost



Stand still.
The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost.
Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes.
Listen.
It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost.
Stand still.
The forest knows
Where you are.
You must let it find you.


This poem is David Wagoner's rendering into modern English the answer a Northwest Native American elder would give to a young girl or boy who asked the question,

"What do I do when I am lost in the forest?"

David Whyte relates further... "In other words,

'What do I do when I've lost my creative fire?'

which is really

'What do l do when I forget who I am?'

At the very core of creativity there seems to be an admonition that says,

'Your own way is essential.'

This is true even in a traditional master-student relationship. The word 'expert' seems to be like a fog in which we lose ourselves. We feel our lack before we have done the essential work of

touching our own inner longing.

Creativity has much more to do with giving ourselves over to our deepest longings than it does with giving ourselves over to any kind of strategy.
The great poetic and mythic traditions say that creativity has to do with unburdening, with giving yourself a break, with letting fresh air in through the windows, with allowing yourself to be

lost...

profoundly lost,

deeply lost.

This cannot be taught, it must be lived.

In the beginning,
along with the joy of possibility,
you also have to enter this deep well of grief
connected to what you have missed by
refusing to open in the past."


The Well of Grief
Those who will not slip beneath
the still surface on the well of grief
turning downward through its black water
to the place we cannot breathe
will never know the source
from which we drink
the secret water, cold and clear,
nor find in the darkness glimmering
the small round coins
thrown by those who wished for
something else.
~David Whyte 

hai.

(yes)

 

(b)is-ness

I am grateful
for the *spark*
to revisit the inspiration
for this blog,
the dream for us all to
live in possibility
oh, how poetically,
swiftly,
a person
who made himself available
is guided
to the wellspring of wonder
tapping into his own potential
through playing his instrument
riding the wave of

one-buttock playing (!)

his music became the instrument
that touched souls,
lifted spirits,
and connected us to one another.
becoming fascinated
along the way
by mis-takes
in the garden of
discovery,

the ultimate glory

of these gifts

goes to the

higher source of power

which is so much

grander and vast

than our own concept of

their potential.

hallelujah.

passing through

In this place of tremendous insecurity

I raise my arms in the air and say

'how fascinating!'

for this blessed awakening

shines a light in the direction of the only security there actually is in my view,

groundlessness.
change.

living in a space beyond hope

and beyond fear,

in the present moment.

this insecurity keeps

my heart open.

practicing

seeing

with a fresh view,

my spirit has been moved

higher,

lower,

and wider.

who knew that it was possible to

lift lower!

for me this idea of lifting lower translates

within the rich duality of ones'

evolving comprehension of darkness

and spiritual mysteries,

intertwining the nature of those two notions

creates a

space between

where the

softness of loving and acceptance

and pure clarity

resides.

a space that simply

is.

a space that is the ground

made fertile by

cultivating into it

our manure of experience,

individually and collectively...

haven't yet arrived

but not just starting...

♥

whereabouts unknown

what.do.you.want?

when some people are asked this question,
they are able to form a list with the greatest of ease.

i am not one of those people.
(unless it's in the context of ordering lunch, in which case, I know all too well what I want and how I want it! I'm one of 'those people' who often alters or substitutes {surprised?}, which of course is not what I am
talking about here.
think 'cloudy-er',
what-do-you-want-out-of-your-life'ier)

but i am becoming quite fond of

sitting with this question.

because it always leads me to the
warmer, *juicy-er* underbelly...

Our minds tend to lead us to believe that what we think/believe/feel we want is paramount, but in my experience, regularly asking the question with freshness is the container in which to listen for the essence, the underlying current, of what is actually going on in reality. Giving some space for the what's to breathe and stretch out... and taking a look at *that*

or simply being with that new shape

is what brings a clarity to the totality of it,
as it relates to your life,
allowing the natural response to its sister question
'what are you / do you want to be doing?' to arise.

There's also this idea Alan Watts presents in Cloud Hidden:

"We do not know what we want because we are only so dimly aware of

anything wantable.

We have taught ourselves to pursue such abstract and weakly perceived goals as happiness, love, goodness, service to others, fun, fame, fortune, power, peace, or God – but we have

more words than experience

for what we mean."

 

He goes on to list many things,

beautifully wantable...

"I want to spend time sitting still,

or walking slowly,

wondering at and feeling the basic sense of existence,

of being alive-dead,

of watching my breath,

of hearing all sounds in the air,

and of letting clouds and stars caress my eyes.

I want to let go of anxiety and turn it into laughter, and realize absolutely that

life and death

are two sides of the same coin.

I want a companion who will, alternatively, melt into me and wrestle with me, obey me and object to me, admire me and then suddenly show that they can do so many things much better than I.
I want to sit at a typewriter, at certain times,
carefully and meticulously
putting into words what I feel-

the challenge being that it cannot really be put into words at all.

I want to be able to allay pain and sickness with the touch of my hands.
I want to make a fire of charcoal and burn cedar leaves or sandalwood, late in the evening, while listening or dancing to classical or rock music.

I want to see the reflection of light in glass and crystal, and lying on the ground, to look up at trees patterning a vivid blue sky. At night to go to sleep beneath them, and to wake just before dawn when the stars can still be seen through their branches.

….. earthy as it may be, this is a glimpse of my idea of heaven."

beautifully wantable because they are not things,

but rather experiences.

aaah, I completely connect with that...

I'd love to hear what *your* experience has been with that question.
What touches you as the heart of the matter?

♥

hello, little teacher

**Update to one of my personally favorite posts from 2011,
as the lessons from this little teacher continue to deepen ....

Karmapa Dream Flag via Wikimedia Commons

The American primitive painter Albert Pinkham Ryder (1847-1917) reported watching an inch-worm crawl up a twig and then, clinging to the very end, revolve in the air, feeling for something to reach. “That’s me,” he said, “I am trying to find something out there beyond the place on which I have a footing.”
- Robert Genn

_______________________Original post below______________________

As I was waking up with my unsettled, loose-end'ish feeling self and starting the day today, I was sitting at this desk when I noticed this tiny little worm. 

I noticed as s/he/'it' moved along that at times the surface of the desk seemed slippery and it

struggled for traction.

Sometimes the cracks made it turn and

go another way.

Sometimes it would topple over and get back up.

It went over the cracks, down the tiers of the edge of the desk and back up again several times.

What is going on here?

I curiously wondered.

responsibili-tea...

response.ability.

the ability to respond.

 

☀

As the Great Eastern Sun rises,

meet the day with a child-like spark.

Remember to feel and simply be present

to what is encountered throughout the day.

Then re-member that much of what

we encounter

is our own neuroses.

And laugh.

Work to become more aware of what blocks

the ability to be present and curious

so that the channel

to responses

of joy and enthusiasm remains

open...

 

But re-member there is no need to

take it all

so seriously...

☀

Driving in an unfamiliar area with my love yesterday
I gave up my ability to respond with
curiosity and enthusiasm for this
new and exciting experience
to my unconscious 'responsibility'
as the co-pilot who knows
where to go
and the need to be right.

Apologize for unnecessary gruffness.

Then like the setting sun,
let the day go.

As with the breath
and each new dawn,
practice it all some more.
Have some fun.
...and savor the moments of
la joie de vivre!

 

don't just *do* something...

...sit there.

Do you have the patience to wait til your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving til right action arises by itself?
~ Lao-Tzu

The silence we value is not the mere outward silence of the lips. It is a deep quietness of heart and mind, a laying aside of the preoccupation with passing things -- yes, even with the workings of our own minds; a resolute fixing of the heart upon that which is
unchangeable and eternal.
- Caroline Stephen


Be in the truth of each moment - all that you are sensing in the body, thinking in the mind, feeling with the emotions. Don't suppress it and don't support it.
Be with what is.
- Paul Lowe


If you go into a forest with your mind only, you'll only notice the sounds and the mind will try to interpret them. You might think you're present; but you're not really, you're simply judging what you hear. But if you become aware of the silent dimension underneath the sounds and in between the sounds, then you become present because the moment you become aware of the silence,
you also have become silent.
~ Eckhart Tolle 

Home

A 3-week, 4600-mile road trip from southern California to

Home Sweet Home, Maine... 

(One of my favorite photos from the whole trip; Ray snapped this driving north from Bozeman, Montana, while the co-pilot/photographer was on the phone with her mother making plans to meet in North Dakota for a family reunion.)

Thoughts On Home

I believe that our ultimate home is a spiritual place we're all heading. However, as always, I find there are more layers beneath and within this belief...

I found a rhythm, a comfort, a homeyness within the routine of a road trip for those three weeks.

I reconnected with a certain rootedness as we went with my Mom to the farm where she grew up, and also spent some time in the places of my childhood, which led to some resolving of what my home was in reality back then and letting go of the idea of home I had thought I wanted.

A realtor distinctly referred to our current dwelling as having the feel of a

home rather than a house.

And being back, with my love, after being away for eighteen months,

I agree that there certainly is a difference between a house and a home. Even though plans are to move forward at some point from this home, I know I am blessed to be home, to be here now. I now know and claim that what I am blessed with is not contained in or restricted by these particular walls, though this home will always have a special place in my heart.

For me, home is an internal place which is not static, and I am discovering that becoming aware of the present (dual meaning intended) home rather than trying to attain some feeling, or idea of a feeling, from the past or the future, is where peace lies. It is to be who you are, wherever you are, so yes, one of the most difficult journeys we take.

On the other hand, home is just a word, yet I am reminded of how words can have the power to confine or liberate us. Perhaps home is simply a representation of personal experience in meaning and sentiment, and evolving through each phase of life naturally.

What does home mean to you...  is it defined by people, a certain place, a feeling, a time,

Is it heaven on earth, grounding, a place of renewal and growth, a sanctuary, comforting, safe, impermanent, 

ever-changing, consistent, elusive...

THE HOUSE OF BELONGING ~ David Whyte

I awoke
this morning
in the gold light
turning this way
and that

thinking for
a moment
it was one
day
like any other.

But
the veil had gone
from my
darkened heart
and 
I thought

it must have been the quiet
candlelight
that filled my room,

it must have been
the first
easy rhythm
with which I breathed
myself to sleep,

it must have been
the prayer I said
speaking to the otherness
of the night.

And
I thought
this is the good day
you could
meet your love,

this is the black day
someone close
to you could die.

This is the day
you realize
how easily the thread
is broken
between this world
and the next

and I found myself
sitting up
in the quiet pathway
of light,

the tawny
close grained cedar
burning round
me like fire
and all the angels of this housely
heaven ascending
through the first
roof of light
the sun has made.

This is the bright home
in which I live,
this is where
I ask 
my friends
to come,
this is where I want
to love all the things
it has taken me so long
to learn to love.

This is the temple
of my adult aloneness
and I belong
to that aloneness
as I belong to my life.

There is no house
like the house of belonging.

Morning Interactions

As I set out on my walk/jog, which I haven't done in a while, not wanting my own inner dialogue to serve as a distraction, I debated about going back for my iPod.... how to handle my busy mind this morning....

Direct the mind, drive the hind...

This is a natural horsemanship training saying whose wisdom I am reminded applies for me too.  I love the simpleness of this phrase, it's one of my life mantras I have been enjoying lately.  I decide to ask for the grace of connection to my source, my higher power, to help me find that place of surrender, of acceptance of self, busy mind and all, and to direct my mind to focus on what's really important.  The morning was filled with this up and down, in and out, separated and connected, mind/spirit tug-of-war that strikes me as so representative of life.   It's like strength training, building the muscle of presence with what is.  Real.

My shadow is real.  It may not reflect accurately the image of my inner self, but I guess that's some of the protective tendency we have as humans.  I become aware of the egocentricity of walking along, contemplating my shadow and what it says (to who?), the narrowness of that focus.  So I expand my gaze.  

I encounter many homeless people arising from their slumbers, and feel humbled by their gentleness as they meet my gaze and we acknowledge each other, sometimes with a 'good morning', but mostly with just a smile.  We are all only human beans, wanting/needing the same things; to give and receive love, safety, belonging, and to not be defined or judged by our life circumstances.  We are so much more than that.  But I can't escape the fact that I awoke in a warm, comfortable bed this morning and went out to face the world wanting to tune it, or me, out.  I know at times we need to escape from reality, but I believe it can become a habit that rapidly becomes denial.  Denial is one way of coping, so I can't indulge in self judgment for what I have needed to do to survive in my own life, but as I allow myself to awaken to the Divine in me, the glaring truth is that it is indeed in all of us, just because we are.  In the past I felt like I was trying to be a do-gooder by smiling at the homeless, and now I see that I felt so phony because I saw myself as separate from them.

So further on my little morning adventure, I come to a bench with a dedication to a woman that read something like 'may you rest peacefully and dream of a world free from hate, free from violence'.  I suddenly felt like I wanted to know her story, and then realized that I already did.  I say a little prayer for her soul.  We can't change the past, we can only move forward in love the best way we know how...

The evil of today is enough, we don't need to add to it with our own negativity.  I believe that in order to do that, we do have to acknowledge our own darkness, it feeds on denial, and it's not going away.  Direct the mind to a higher plane, and drive the hind.  Move, move.  Act, act.  Do that which you know in your heart you must do, from a centered place inside.

Thus far on my walk, I had asphalt underfoot, and now as I reach the sand, where the waves meet the shore...  ahhhh...  I instantly feel that connection again to my source through nature, and a dolphin makes an appearance...  I realize that though all of this beautiful learning and awareness is happening, it has primarily taken place in my head.  I say a prayer of thanks for this moment...

My steps take me through the parking lot of the yacht club, and I realize just as I felt connected with those down on their luck, I also feel connected to the 'haves'.... none of us is better than or less than...  I wonder if I am on private property yet I see a shortcut to where I want to go, so I ask the man closing the hatch of his Lexus whether this path leads to the breakwater and whether it is 'private property'.  A short while later as I was on the other side of that gate, I wondered if he would have had a different response if I wasn't relatively clean but rather less clean on the outside and pushing a cart with all my belongings.  I resist the temptation to automatically assume he would have, and for my own ego to judge him.

I am shaken from this contemplation of judgment by a - could it be - a whale?  Why, yes, it is!  I am brought back to my connection to nature, and my heart leaps.  No one else is around to see it, and I claim the arrival of this magnificent creature in a deep, personal way.  Then I suddenly miss my Beloved in a way I have never missed him before.  I realize how strong the urge to connect is, and I believe all beings experience this urge.  My experience with horses has allowed something to unblock in me, the unconscious wish to suppress this urge, which allows for more intimate relations with all beings.  I understand it from a different vantage point now, and can accept the urge for what it is.  Sharing ones self doesn't have to be wrapped up in seeking validation or expectation of any particular response in return.   That is where the hurt comes in, not because of the urge to share.  Animals just respond to energy without judgment.  As I turn to begin my walk back, I encounter a human being gazing out at the ocean and I ask if he saw the whale...

On my walk today, I interacted with myself, other people, and nature, and I honor that they all offered wisdom for the journey in their own way.

They are all important pieces of the whole.

I am glad I didn't go back for the iPod.