...and to all a good night

Finnish nisua with fresh ground cardamom
and Cape Breton pork pies...

If you work to make it true, It's a Wonderful Life
George may not have much money, but he's the richest man in town

I offer this beautiful version of Lucinda Williams' 'Blue' for anyone whom it is not, or anyone wishing to acknowledge that for many among us this is not,
the 'most wonderful time of the year'.

conviction of the heart

Yogi Bhajan brought Kundalini Yoga (Yoga of Awareness) to the West in the '60s. He went to an LA auditorium to speak to anyone interested in learning about it. No one showed up. He spoke anyway, to an empty auditorium, so strong was the conviction in his heart of what he must do.

I believe that what he was practicing was his own mastery, and so it didn't matter who was listening at the time... fifty years later, I sit here still trying to absorb the message.

"If you want to learn a thing, read that.
If you want to know a thing, write that.
If you want to master a thing, teach that."
~ Yogi Bhajan

Several years ago I took a 3 hour Kundalini class, and one powerful message I recall often when I am taking my body image too seriously is the teacher cooing 'loooooooove your belllly'. Still makes me smile!

Listen to and practice really receiving this blessing into your heart...
only then can it radiate out to others...

May the longtime sun shine upon you
All love surround you
And the pure light within you
Guide your way on

Namaste.

full moon mood

Slow down, you're movin' too fast
You gotta make the mornin' last
Just kickin' down the cobblestones
Lookin' for fun and
Feelin' groovy

Hello lampost
Whatcha knowin?
I've come to watch your flowers growin'
Ain'tcha got no rhymes for me?
Doo Bee Doo Doo,
Feelin' groovy

Got no deeds to do
No promises to keep
I'm dappled and drowsy and ready to sleep
Let the morningtime drop all its petals on me...
Life, I love you,
All is groovy

fruits o' roots

this morning I awoke to the sounds of nature out the open window,

such a pleasant and gentle way to greet the day!
first open window night of the season here in the northeast...
which led me to thinking about nature and our connection with it.
'it' is not separate from us.
we are among nature,
we interact with nature.
it's the noticing of this interaction that varies,
but I believe nature is always speaking to us
and is a very wise teacher.

take Roots for example.
for some reason I made pannakakku for the first time ever, and then came across a box of 'finn crisp' at a store recently,
so I was feeling more in touch with my own family heritage and
where I come from.
a friend pointed out that this little maple here was not growing in a good spot
and suggested we replant it somewhere more fitting.
like this little maple tree, perhaps as human beings we can all relate to the desire to receive guidance and encouragement to bloom in our optimal environment... with space,
to reach our branches to the sky and show our array of color...
and also to reach deep for our nourishment and centeredness...
and some of us, like the rhododendrons we also just planted,
take a while to allow their roots to branch out from their root ball,
but once they do, become quite hardy.


Poetry, A Natural Thing
~by Robert Duncan in The Opening of the Field

Neither our vices nor our virtues
further the poem. "They came up

and died
just like they do every year

on the rocks."

The poem
feeds upon thought, feeling, impulse,

to breed itself,
a spiritual urgency at the dark ladders leaping.

This beauty is an inner persistence


toward the source
striving against (within) down-rushet of the river...

morning glories

Why I Wake Early

Hello, sun in my face.
Hello, you who make the morning
and spread it over the fields
and into the faces of the tulips
and the nodding morning glories,
and into the windows of, even, the
miserable and the crotchety —

Best preacher that ever was,
dear star, that just happens
to be where you are in the universe
to keep us from ever-darkness,
to ease us with warm touching,
to hold us in the great hands of light —
good morning, good morning, good morning.

Watch, now, how I start the day
in happiness, in kindness.

Mary Oliver

it's alive!

our first tray of wheatgrass, flourishing!

If planted, all living foods would sprout and grow. ~Ann Wigmore

d. w. t. l.

"I've been absolutely terrified every moment of my life, and I've never let it keep me from doing a single thing that I've wanted to do."
Georgia O'Keefe


d. w. t. l.
sounds like... dawdle... to waste time.

don't...

wait...

to...

live...

depending where you are coming from, the phrase 'wasting time' can have different connotations. here in the west many of us might hear that and feel pressure coming from somewhere to do something. accomplish something. maybe without real-lies'ing it.
not that there's anything wrong with do-ing things... in theory...

don't just do something,
sit there...

Bertrand Russell said 'the time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time',
and this speaks to my heart in a deep and poetic way
as does his summary of his work and his life, at the age of 84, in
WHAT I HAVE LIVED FOR:

"Three passions, simple but overwhelmingly strong, have governed my life: the longing for love, the search for knowledge, and unbearable pity for the suffering of mankind. These passions, like great winds, have blown me hither and thither, in a wayward course, over a deep ocean of anguish, reaching to the very verge of despair (...) and would gladly live it again if the chance were offered me."

(click here if you'd like to read the entire prologue to his autobiography in 1967)

As this chapter melts into the next one, I am humbled and grateful to stop in this moment to gaze toward the east and know that I am moving in the direction that allows me to shed a bit more of the clutter and simply live closer to nature....
beside my beloved kindred spirit...
in a place that nourishes my soul...

these are the days...

I never saw the morning 'til I stayed up all night
I never saw the sunshine 'til you turned out the light
I never saw my hometown until I stayed away too long
I never heard the melody, until I needed a song.

I never saw the white line, 'til I was leaving you behind
I never knew I needed you 'til I was caught up in a bind
I never spoke 'I love you' 'til I cursed you in vain,
I never felt my heartstrings until I nearly went insane.

I never saw the east coast 'til I move to the west
I never saw the moonlight until it shone off your breast
I never saw your heart 'til someone tried to steal,
Tried to steal it away
I never saw your tears until they rolled down your face.

San Diego Serenade
Tom Waits

Simplici-Tea

Even though the dictionary lists easy as a synonym of simple, in my experience,

when it comes to living simply,

that has generally not been easy.

Yet at times I find I have that lurking belief that simplifying should be an easy process.

Now, cultivating simplicity....

that is a labor of love.

Still not easy,
but a more enjoyable approach
and purpose-oriented direction I am much more in tune with.

to cultivate:

to improve and prepare; to loosen or dig soil around...

to promote the growth of....

to nurture....

to form and refine...

to seek the acquaintance or goodwill of; make friends with...

...simply empowering ourselves to loosen or dig the soil around beliefs, in order to make room for improvements!

What do you think... Does one aspire to live simply, or is that an oxymoron?

here and now

In my previous rock wall post when I wrote about asking myself 'how did I get here', there truly was an element of wonder. Learning to climb that wall was something I did in the scope of my job/where I currently spend forty hours a week. I find myself working in a setting where sometimes I feel so far out of my element, yet other times I feel completely at home in this place where some of the harsh realities of our society are seen and dealt with.

I appreciate the lessons available when the lines between
work and play,
work and healing,
witnessing and speaking,
being and doing,
learning and leading,
are blurred...

Through her world of writing poetry, I was invited into the world of a teenager who experiences much emotional pain. It was at once an honor, humbling, eye-opening, sad, and hopeful. A powerful glimpse.

A woman next to me in a group spoke in one breath about the joys of growing up on a farm, and in the next breath with the same matter-of-fact tone about how there are only 4 siblings left out of the 6 now; 2 suicides.

As I stood in the doorway as instructed, observing an interaction on one of my first days, I was glad when the child assertively spoke to his boundaries being invaded, because he exposed my feeling of awkwardness that I was there without him knowing who I was or why I was there. When things are not right in our environment, it is the healthy response to speak to it. In an instant, he showed me that he was much less conditioned to hold back in this way than I was.

I became frazzled and distracted by the teenage girls who wouldn't stop talking when I was trying to facilitate the group. After my activity was done I found I was just going through the motions for a while because I was lost in the distraction/downward spiral of similar old feelings this stirred up. Eckhart Tolle refers to this as being stuck in a pain-body. They are just about us and are not based in the present reality.

"It's your world, kiddo, I'm just livin' in it."

My practice is to keep coming back to the wisdom of the way of the horse...
when a situation/stressor is past, they let go of what just happened and 'go back to grazing' so as to save their strength and energy for when they really need it, for survival. Letting go of the emotion and hanging onto the lesson.


So begins another week. I bring with me the reminder that though life is much larger than what we are currently experiencing, it's good to be experiencing it, warts and all.

"Since all things are naked, clear
and free from obscurations, there
is nothing to attain or realise.
The everyday practice is simply to
develop a complete acceptance and
openness to all situations and emotions.
And to all people ~ experiencing
everything totally without reservations
and blockages so that one never
withdraws or centralises onto oneself."
~ excerpted from a Maha Ati text translated by Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche

And so it is!

the wall of...

I climbed a rock wall like this one

a first
something on my to try someday list
it was not a high or difficult wall
by any climbers standards
but gave me enough of a challenge
and heightened perspective
so that as I was up there I had to pause
and ask myself
how did I get here?
each self-defeating
and self-supporting
thought that arose in the
process of strategizing and stretching
trusting and letting go
reaching higher and resting
knowing when it was enough
for me
for now

the greatest insights
came after
when I was more connected to my true self
upon reflection
getting out of my own way so to speak
embracing this physical challenge
was a fitting reminder
another glimpse
into how healing
time out of mind
is.

2009, etc...

This past year has been filled with powerful learnings around

Trust, Detachment, Inner Peace...

Joy, Curiosity, Listening, Awareness...

Communication, Observation, Acceptance, Action...

For it all, Blessed and Grateful am I.

~        ~        ~

if you're not having fun, why do it.

life is hard. once you accept that, it ceases to be so.

(m. scott peck)

you don't do yoga to get a better body.

you do yoga to learn to love the body you have.

(eddie, yoga soup)

try to marry inner peace with creating a soulful world.

(joan chittister)

~        ~        ~

As water takes whatever shape it is in,
So free may you be about who you become.

May your prayer of listening deepen enough

To hear in the distance the laughter of God.

(from A Blessing For Equilibrium, by John O’Donohue)

~        ~        ~

A few reminders about friendship from a wise,

spirit-filled young woman I know...

be the friend you'd want them to be.

it’s better to be disliked or made fun of for who you really are than

to be loved for who you aren’t.

your friends encourage you to be a better person, not cause you to be a worse one.

~        ~        ~

I want my life to be one of love, not rage

Kindness, not contempt

Joy, not suffering

I want to be alive and present in this moment,

not lost in thought and delusion.

- Zen poem

~        ~        ~