Butterflies: To Harness and Ride

From Lissa Rankin's The Fear Cure:

99% of fears are false fears that exist solely in the imagination where there’s no real threat. False fears trigger the fight-or-flight stress response unnecessarily, which not only disables the body’s natural self-healing mechanisms and predisposes us to illness – it also limits our capacity to step fully into our life’s purpose, when our radiance, talents, love, brilliance, and creativity are desperately needed in a world that needs all hands on deck as we collectively wake up.

When you think a fearful thought, how does your body feel? Do you feel relaxed and grounded when you think the thought? Or do you feel tightness in your chest or gripping in your solar plexus? Intuition (one form of true fear) tends to come with a very relaxed physical feeling, accompanied by a sense of direct knowing, whereas false fear tends to feel tense in a body and panicky in the mind.

True fear is here to protect you, and even false fear is something to be grateful for. I think of false fear as the finger pointing towards everything in need of healing in your life. Physical therapist Val Zajicek defines “PAIN” as Pay Attention Inside Now, and I think false fear is just such a pain, an uncomfortable emotion that invites us to Pay Attention Inside Now.

Common fear-inducing beliefs in Western Culture and 

Possible Brave New Belief alternatives:

• Uncertainty is unsafe (so I have to do everything I can to control my life)
• Uncertainty is the gateway to possibility (when we don’t know what the future holds, ANYTHING could happen! Exciting!)
• I can’t handle losing what I cherish (so I have to protect myself from loss)
• Loss is natural and can lead to growth (sometimes loss breaks us open to our true selves and opens our hearts to how fully we can love)
• It’s a hostile universe (so I’d better be on guard)
• It’s a purposeful universe (we may not understand why bad things happen to good people, but we can learn to trust that we’re always learning to be more resilient, even when we’re hurting)
• I am all alone (in a hostile, uncertain world where I might lose what I cherish)
• We are all One (mystics and sages have been saying it for years, but there’s actually evidence that we are all interconnected in ways science is only now beginning to be able to measure)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

The most important decision we make
is whether we believe
we live in a friendly
or hostile universe.
~ Albert Einstein

If only we learned how to harness and ride rather than hunt and kill the butterflies that live in the gut of every person who strives to create something extraordinary from nothing.

~ Jonathan Fields

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

darkest day / longest night

SWEET DARKNESS

When your eyes are tired

the world is tired also.

When your vision has gone

no part of the world can find you.

It’s time to go into the night

where the dark has eyes

to recognize its own.

It’s time to go into the dark

where the night has eyes

to recognize its own.

There you

can be sure

you are not beyond love.

The dark will make a home for you tonight.

The night

will give you a horizon

further than you can see.

You must learn one thing.

The world was made to be free in.

Give up all the other worlds

except the one to which you belong.

Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet

confinement of your aloneness

to learn

anything or anyone

that does not bring you alive

is too small for you.

~David Whyte

Vitamin L

The Truelove

There is a faith in loving fiercely
the one who is rightfully yours
especially if you have
waited years and especially
if part of you never believed
you could deserve this
loved and beckoning hand
held out to you this way.

I am thinking of faith now
and the testaments of loneliness
and what we feel we are
worthy of in this world.

Years ago in the Hebrides
I remember an old man
who walked every morning
on the grey stones
to the shore of the baying seals
who would press his hat
to his chest in the blustering
salt wind and say his prayer
to the turbulent Jesus
hidden in the water,

and I think of the story
of the storm and everyone
waking and seeing
the distant
yet familiar figure
far across the water
calling to them

and how we are all
preparing for that
abrupt waking,
and that calling,
and that moment
we have to say yes,
except it will
not come so grandly
so Biblically
but more subtly
and intimately in the face
of the one you know
you have to love.

So that when
we finally step out of the boat
toward them, we find
everything holds
us, and everything confirms
our courage, and if you wanted
to drown you could,
but you don’t
because finally
after all this struggle
and all the years
you don’t want to any more
you’ve simply had enough
of drowning
and you want to live and you
want to love and you will
walk across any territory
and any darkness
however fluid and however
dangerous to take the
one hand you know
belongs in yours.

David Whyte (House of Belonging)

I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of

so they can see that it's not the answer.
- Jim Carrey

 

parallel ally

David Whyte

HAUNTED

is a word that denotes an unresolved parallel, a presence that is not quite a presence; a visitation by the as yet unspeakable - it is also emblematic of the longing for incarnation, of an unbearable substrate of wanting, of not finding a home in this world or in the next, someone or something that walks the halls of our house or our mind looking for what will help to lay its own self to rest.

What haunts us is something that seeks its own disappearance, it wants to become fully itself and so depart. If we feel continually haunted over time we begin to become ghost-like ourselves and roam with intent whilst not quite knowing the object of our intention. Looking in the mirror, our face begins to look like our not quite incarnated life. We walk not exactly existing in the world we visit. Like the spirits and half-beings we imitate at Halloween, we roam the streets as if looking for an abode on this earth we are unable to locate, demanding tribute from those who dwell within. The exorcism of an unwanted spirit is consistent the world over: an invitation to return home; for it and for us to find our way back, to cease our restless ways and to quit disturbing others lives or walking their houses by night.

We cease to be haunted when we cease to be afraid of making what has been untouchable, real: especially our understandings of the past; and especially those we wronged, those we were wronged by, or those we did not help. We become real by forgiving ourselves and we forgive ourselves by changing the foundational pattern, and especially by changing our present behavior to those we have hurt. A fear of ghosts, or a fear of our own haunted mind is the measure of our absence in this world. We cease to be afraid when we give away what was never ours in the first place and begin to be present to our own lives just as we find them, even in facing what we have banished from our thoughts and made homeless, even when we do not know the way forward ourselves. When we make a friend of what we previously could not face, what once haunted us now becomes an invisible, parallel ally, a beckoning hand to our future.

We banish the misaligned when we align with what we are called to, we become visible and real when we give our gift and stop waiting for the gift to be given to us. We wake into our lives again, as if for the first time, laying to rest what previously had no home through beginning to speak, beginning to make real and beginning to live, those elements constellating inside us that long to move from the invisible to the visible.
…

‘HAUNTED’ From CONSOLATIONS: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words. © David Whyte

oh the places she has been

My belief is in the blood and flesh as being wiser than the intellect. The body-unconscious is where life bubbles up in use. It is how we know that we are alive, alive to the depths of our souls and in touch somewhere with the vivid reaches of the cosmos.

– D. H. Lawrence

pineapple! PinEaPpLE!

When Ross The Intern met Steve Irwin years ago, he came up with a codeword for when an experience with a wild animal was getting to be too much.

this video is not only

delightful and hilarious (wish the quality was better though),

it's also a very practical guide on

how to contend with impending overwhelm by utilizing the

valuable fear management tool that is:

pineapple!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXbCY_yRWOc

The genuineness of Ross' responses in the moment

and the way Steve responds to him just touches my hopeful li'l heart.

It is important to believe someone when they say pineapple,

but it is helpful to also verify they really mean it

and get a sense of whether there is space

to go beyond that initial sense of fear.

HSP's have a tendency to be extra cautious, and speaking for myself,

at times I do appreciate gentle encouragement and support from others

to consider going beyond that first pineapple.

Sometimes I say pineapple as a protection,

an anticipation of pineapple.

Whatever stage of pineapple, taking that risk to go further can be like an unspoken agreement to borrow some of the confidence of an 'expert' for a short while

in order to reach the next plateau.

And by expert, it doesn't have to be the level of a Steve Irwin, sometimes it can even be a more experienced part of ourselves that knows we want to stretch a bit.

understanding those subtle layers of pineapple,

while respecting that 'pineapple, really'

does mean there is impending panic in that moment.

Enough, for now.

As someone who tends to take life much too seriously,

this video always lightens me right up

and it came to mind as I was processing a recent job experience.

Less than a week after I started it,

I felt like Ross when the animal was first presented,

and I immediately began looking for my Zone of Safety.

For four weeks it eluded me,

and when I tested the waters of trust in those above me

it was getting clear why my spirit was not going to find the

peace it needed to breathe fully.

having a tendency to undervalue my own contributions,

not being valued for what I was bringing to the table from the corporate structure

was looking like it would be a recurring theme

which would damage me emotionally in the longrun.

So I said pineapple.

And removed the tarantula from my shoulder.

They said 'pineapple already?'

(but we need at least a 2 week notice!)

I said pineapple, really, but I am interested in leaving on good terms,

so okay, I can do that.

I just won't breathe on the tarantula.

One day into the 2 weeks I got an extreme headcold

and had to call in sick the next day.

It was unquestionably the right and only thing to do.

That afternoon they called me to say that the day before would be my last day,

'so that they could get someone else in and trained'.

Because of that abruptness, it took a little while to see the favor they were doing me.

They saved me from 2 weeks of further ruminating over of my own sense of pineapple

and trying to explain the unexplainable.

especially to my self.

It can be challenging to accept that pineapple really is quite simply, pineapple really.

~

YOUR FIXED IDENTITY ~ Pema Chodron

In Buddhism we call the notion of a fixed identity “ego clinging.”

It’s how we try to put solid ground under our feet in an ever-shifting world.

Meditation practice starts to erode that fixed identity.

As you sit, you begin to see yourself with more clarity,

and you notice how attached you are to your opinions about yourself.

Often the first blow to the fixed identity is precipitated by a crisis.

When things fall apart in your life, you feel as if your whole world is crumbling.

But actually it’s your fixed identity that’s crumbling.

And as Chögyam Trungpa used to tell us, that’s cause for celebration. 

"The planet does not need more 'successful people'. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds. It needs people to live well in their places. It needs people with moral courage willing to join the struggle to make the world habitable and humane and these qualities have little to do with success as our culture has set."

- H.H.The Dalai Lama

may we...

... stay forever young

Apocalypse does not point to a fiery Armageddon but to the fact that our ignorance and our complacency are coming to an end…

What is the kingdom? It lies in our realization of the ubiquity of the divine presence in our neighbors, in our enemies, in all of us.

We're in a freefall into future. We don't know where we're going. Things are changing so fast, and always when you're going through a long tunnel, anxiety comes along.

And all you have to do to transform your hell into a paradise is to turn your fall into a voluntary act. It's a very interesting shift of perspective and that's all it is...

joyful participation in the sorrows and everything changes.

- Joseph Campbell, from Thou Art That and Sukhavati

walkabout

helloooooo...

this pic is inspired by a talk I recently heard from Pema Chödrön

where she gave the image of intense emotion as the water raging in a river.

becoming swept along *in* the water is a form of distraction,

while observing the water (emotion) from the riverbank

actually allows us to connect and *be with* it.

many of us are conditioned to believe it's the other way 'round.

as if we're not truly feeling an emotion if its intensity doesn't envelop our whole being.

we are human, we slip into the river from time to time

and get bounced around on the river rocks.

in simply becoming aware of this

we see that we have the choice to come ashore

and in doing so, allow ourselves

to also see and possibly release whatever is drawing or holding us in the water,

be it fear of the emotion itself, guilt, unhealthy habit, beliefs, etc.,

and see the whole of the situation more fully and compassionately.

(my interpretation)

a wish for us all.

☀

in and out.

sidewalks

♥

There is no way to peace.
Peace is the way.
A.J. Muste

Gentleness is a complex and powerful tool, and learning to work with this tool can be a slippery slope. To many of us, it's counter-intuitive to be gentle with ourselves, and gentleness is often wielded only as a soothing balm, when
its full potential is so much more.

Learning to use gentleness
in a skillful way is important work.

Gentleness when it comes to change is vital. This little story precisely describes the process, may it inspire some gentleness toward yourself and empower you to move through to your next chapter...

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
Portia Nelson from There's a Hole in My Sidewalk

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

"Solvitur en modo, Firmitur en rey"

Gentle in what you do,

Firm in how you do it

~    ~    ~
Disciplined Meditation is a How...
~    ~    ~

“Meditation is about seeing clearly the body that we have, the mind that we have, the domestic situation that we have, the job that we have, and the people who are in our lives. It’s about seeing how we react to all these things. It’s seeing our emotions and thoughts just as they are right now, in this very moment, in this very room, on this very seat. It’s about not trying to make them go away, not trying to become better than we are, but just seeing clearly with precision and gentleness.”

— Pema Chodron

my mama's garden
♥

...there has to be...

good smile at the end, tom.

☀

“Hope and optimism are different.

Optimism tends to be based on the notion

that there's enough evidence out there to

believe things are gonna be better,

much more rational, deeply secular,

whereas hope looks at the evidence and says,

'It doesn't look good at all. Doesn't look good at all. Gonna go beyond the evidence to create new possibilities based on visions that become contagious to allow people to engage in heroic actions always against the odds,

no guarantee whatsoever.'

That's hope.

I'm a prisoner of hope, though.

Gonna die a prisoner of hope.”
― Cornel West 

one of the richest sharings of gratitude, humanity,
and wisdom in this interview, imo.
it's funny too, they have a good rapport.

some gems from Brother West, who considers himself 'blessed to have been invited to the banquet of life'

(much more enjoyable to listen to him,

he has a great laugh and spirit):

Blessed assurance, making a leap of faith,

stepping out on nothing

and landing on something...

He who has never despaired has never lived.

I make despair and catastrophe constant companions,

but I just don't allow despair to have the last word...

Ancestral appreciation,

feeling the love at your back...

 Persevering is the best we do,

just gonna love my way through the darkness...

Ritual has a role to play,

it's nice to stop everyday life

and have moments of deep meaning...

great reminders about cash,

an instrument for some greater cause, not an end...

and the legacy of Martin Luther King,

who also spoke of a religion based on being

maladjusted to greed, concerned about fairness,

maladjusted to indifference,
concerned about compassion,

and maladjusted to fear.
Instead it's courageous and tries to be hopeful...

☀

ours is in the trying, the rest is not our business.

-T.S. Eliot

Never Eat Soggy Waffles

north
east
south
west

this cute little acronym speaks to me
in a directional and a food-related sense today...

I have heeded a tenacious call to study

holistic nutrition.

how not only the what, but

how.when.why.where, etc.

we nourish ourselves with
affects us overall
in body, spirit, mind, and
creativity.

the hitch in my giddyup has been simply coming to terms with the unknown nature of what to 'do' with such information once I invest in obtaining it; yet this is the next step in the natural progression of my journey toward healthifying my own relationship with how I

nourish my self on all levels.

i am and will allways be my first and a lifelong client.
food is a passion. and my connection to all things in nature, including my fellow human beings.
now I feel the time is showing itself to enter the marketplace, so to speak.
with open hands.
and a play-in-progress 'tude.

direct the mind, drive the hind...

drive the hind, and the mind will follow...

yee-haw!

(isn't she lovely? a dear friend sent this to me recently, it's an 8x10 that will soon be framed and displayed on the wall.)

Are you curious about exploring the role nutrition plays in your own life and health? Find the food industry a bit overwhelming and want some help sifting through the information to make well-informed, conscious choices? Do you deal with a particular condition or dis-ease that you would like to treat holistically, or in a way that works with a western medicine approach? Do you simply have the sense that you could be feeling better than you do, or that you could use some support in obtaining a greater state of vitality through individualized diet/lifestyle/cleansing suggestions?

I will be seeking people for case studies.
Would you like to be a volunteer client?

Through opening up about your health (your personal identity shared only as initials or a substitute name), I am excited to see what we can learn together, and hopefully you will walk away with a new lease on life.
Or at the very least the inspiration to whip up some hearty un-soggy waffles.

♥

Let medicine be thy food,

and food be thy medicine.

~Hippocrates

Music is a lady that I still love because she gives me the air that I breathe. We need all sorts of nourishment. And music satisfies and nourishes the hunger within ourselves for connection and harmony.
~Cat Stevens

Sometimes you struggle so hard to feed your family one way, you forget to feed them the other way, with spiritual nourishment. Everybody needs that.
~James Brown

...the family of things

parable

rooted in the profound yet simple experience

of loving and living

feeling and being

trying and reaching, and resting

listen

for the natural rhythm

of existence

breathing in

breathing out

gently merging

with the breath,

being breathed,

aaah, pure bliss

a dance 

with your greatest gift

~mh

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

from Dream Work by Mary Oliver

further

In my previous post when I quoted Alan Watts saying that he wanted to

realize absolutely that

life and death are two sides of the same coin,

it struck a deep chord in me.


A 'radical acceptance of death'
can be a learned approach
to life,
as can clouding ones' perspective
with fear and ignorance.



At the time of my grandfather's death when I was eleven, innately I had no fear of what was occurring. Somehow I was very in touch with the
natural process of him passing,
including the months leading up to that afternoon,
after we had gotten the morning call
that the time was near.
yet at the end, I was excluded.
sent to sit in the waiting room by myself.


We all do the best we can,
and nurses do their jobs.
they (nor did I then) did not know how deeply I was
feeling this loss.
those weren't just tears
because he was gone.
I also lost part of my voice.
and I was cheated out of experiencing

that part of the grieving process

in the moment.

Untouched grief lies dormant,
and when it rises up
beckoning and then
demanding to be
seen and felt at last,
it is an opportunity for healing and forgiveness,
and reclaiming wholeness...


Back to realizing how life and death being
two sides of the same coin
 is vitally important in learning to embrace life,
and to live in possibility.

Aha!

Both are equally juicy, complex topics!

They are only as 'out there'
as we choose to keep them...

further 'food' for thought...

Though we live in a largely hands-off culture, especially when it comes to the actual process of dying, it is completely within our rights to organize our own

home funeral:

A noncommercial, family centered response to death that involves the family and its social community in the care and preparation of the body for burial or cremation, and/or in planning and carrying out related rituals or ceremonies, and/or in the burial or cremation itself.

There are also people
offering compassionate support

for the final transition process.

“I request that my body in death be buried, not cremated, so that the energy content contained within it gets returned to the earth so that flora and fauna can dine upon it just as I have dined upon flora and fauna throughout my life.” —Neil deGrasse Tyson

Since our bodies have many toxins in them,
not to mention the added pollutants like formaldehyde and embalming agents in traditional preservation,

this woman presenting her mushroom burial suit
 takes the green burial a step further,

which for me is quite possibly an ultimate way of

leaving the world better than I found it...

♥