hello, little teacher II

**Update to one of my personally favorite posts from 2011,
as the lessons from this little teacher continue to deepen ....

Karmapa Dream Flag via Wikimedia Commons

The American primitive painter Albert Pinkham Ryder (1847-1917) reported watching an inch-worm crawl up a twig and then, clinging to the very end, revolve in the air, feeling for something to reach. “That’s me,” he said, “I am trying to find something out there beyond the place on which I have a footing.”
- Robert Genn

_______________________Original post below______________________

As I was waking up with my unsettled, loose-end'ish feeling self and starting the day today, I was sitting at this desk when I noticed this tiny little worm. 

I noticed as s/he/'it' moved along that at times the surface of the desk seemed slippery and it

struggled for traction.

Sometimes the cracks made it turn and

go another way.

Sometimes it would topple over and get back up.

It went over the cracks, down the tiers of the edge of the desk and back up again several times.

What is going on here?

I curiously wondered.

weirdmaste _/|\_

♥︎

dimmer switch of life

We could say that meditation doesn't have a reason

or doesn't have a purpose.

In this respect it's unlike almost all other things we do

except perhaps making music and dancing.

When we make music we don't do it in order to

reach a certain point, such as the end of the composition.

If that were the purpose of music then obviously

the fastest players would be the best.

Also, when we are dancing

we are not aiming to arrive at a particular place on the floor

as in a journey.

When we dance, the journey itself is the point,

as when we play music the playing itself is the point.

And exactly the same thing is true in meditation.

Meditation is the discovery

that the point of life is always arrived at

in the immediate moment.

- Alan Watts

The Bottom Line ~ Mooji.....

❤︎

pineapple! PinEaPpLE!

When Ross The Intern met Steve Irwin years ago, he came up with a codeword for when an experience with a wild animal was getting to be too much.

this video is not only

delightful and hilarious (wish the quality was better though),

it's also a very practical guide on

how to contend with impending overwhelm by utilizing the

valuable fear management tool that is:

pineapple!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXbCY_yRWOc

The genuineness of Ross' responses in the moment

and the way Steve responds to him just touches my hopeful li'l heart.

It is important to believe someone when they say pineapple,

but it is helpful to also verify they really mean it

and get a sense of whether there is space

to go beyond that initial sense of fear.

HSP's have a tendency to be extra cautious, and speaking for myself,

at times I do appreciate gentle encouragement and support from others

to consider going beyond that first pineapple.

Sometimes I say pineapple as a protection,

an anticipation of pineapple.

Whatever stage of pineapple, taking that risk to go further can be like an unspoken agreement to borrow some of the confidence of an 'expert' for a short while

in order to reach the next plateau.

And by expert, it doesn't have to be the level of a Steve Irwin, sometimes it can even be a more experienced part of ourselves that knows we want to stretch a bit.

understanding those subtle layers of pineapple,

while respecting that 'pineapple, really'

does mean there is impending panic in that moment.

Enough, for now.

As someone who tends to take life much too seriously,

this video always lightens me right up

and it came to mind as I was processing a recent job experience.

Less than a week after I started it,

I felt like Ross when the animal was first presented,

and I immediately began looking for my Zone of Safety.

For four weeks it eluded me,

and when I tested the waters of trust in those above me

it was getting clear why my spirit was not going to find the

peace it needed to breathe fully.

having a tendency to undervalue my own contributions,

not being valued for what I was bringing to the table from the corporate structure

was looking like it would be a recurring theme

which would damage me emotionally in the longrun.

So I said pineapple.

And removed the tarantula from my shoulder.

They said 'pineapple already?'

(but we need at least a 2 week notice!)

I said pineapple, really, but I am interested in leaving on good terms,

so okay, I can do that.

I just won't breathe on the tarantula.

One day into the 2 weeks I got an extreme headcold

and had to call in sick the next day.

It was unquestionably the right and only thing to do.

That afternoon they called me to say that the day before would be my last day,

'so that they could get someone else in and trained'.

Because of that abruptness, it took a little while to see the favor they were doing me.

They saved me from 2 weeks of further ruminating over of my own sense of pineapple

and trying to explain the unexplainable.

especially to my self.

It can be challenging to accept that pineapple really is quite simply, pineapple really.

~

YOUR FIXED IDENTITY ~ Pema Chodron

In Buddhism we call the notion of a fixed identity “ego clinging.”

It’s how we try to put solid ground under our feet in an ever-shifting world.

Meditation practice starts to erode that fixed identity.

As you sit, you begin to see yourself with more clarity,

and you notice how attached you are to your opinions about yourself.

Often the first blow to the fixed identity is precipitated by a crisis.

When things fall apart in your life, you feel as if your whole world is crumbling.

But actually it’s your fixed identity that’s crumbling.

And as Chögyam Trungpa used to tell us, that’s cause for celebration. 

"The planet does not need more 'successful people'. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds. It needs people to live well in their places. It needs people with moral courage willing to join the struggle to make the world habitable and humane and these qualities have little to do with success as our culture has set."

- H.H.The Dalai Lama

sidewalks

♥

There is no way to peace.
Peace is the way.
A.J. Muste

Gentleness is a complex and powerful tool, and learning to work with this tool can be a slippery slope. To many of us, it's counter-intuitive to be gentle with ourselves, and gentleness is often wielded only as a soothing balm, when
its full potential is so much more.

Learning to use gentleness
in a skillful way is important work.

Gentleness when it comes to change is vital. This little story precisely describes the process, may it inspire some gentleness toward yourself and empower you to move through to your next chapter...

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
Portia Nelson from There's a Hole in My Sidewalk

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

"Solvitur en modo, Firmitur en rey"

Gentle in what you do,

Firm in how you do it

~    ~    ~
Disciplined Meditation is a How...
~    ~    ~

“Meditation is about seeing clearly the body that we have, the mind that we have, the domestic situation that we have, the job that we have, and the people who are in our lives. It’s about seeing how we react to all these things. It’s seeing our emotions and thoughts just as they are right now, in this very moment, in this very room, on this very seat. It’s about not trying to make them go away, not trying to become better than we are, but just seeing clearly with precision and gentleness.”

— Pema Chodron

my mama's garden
♥

new day dawning

the natural source of radiance and brilliance in this world

whereabouts unknown

what.do.you.want?

when some people are asked this question,
they are able to form a list with the greatest of ease.

i am not one of those people.
(unless it's in the context of ordering lunch, in which case, I know all too well what I want and how I want it! I'm one of 'those people' who often alters or substitutes {surprised?}, which of course is not what I am
talking about here.
think 'cloudy-er',
what-do-you-want-out-of-your-life'ier)

but i am becoming quite fond of

sitting with this question.

because it always leads me to the
warmer, *juicy-er* underbelly...

Our minds tend to lead us to believe that what we think/believe/feel we want is paramount, but in my experience, regularly asking the question with freshness is the container in which to listen for the essence, the underlying current, of what is actually going on in reality. Giving some space for the what's to breathe and stretch out... and taking a look at *that*

or simply being with that new shape

is what brings a clarity to the totality of it,
as it relates to your life,
allowing the natural response to its sister question
'what are you / do you want to be doing?' to arise.

There's also this idea Alan Watts presents in Cloud Hidden:

"We do not know what we want because we are only so dimly aware of

anything wantable.

We have taught ourselves to pursue such abstract and weakly perceived goals as happiness, love, goodness, service to others, fun, fame, fortune, power, peace, or God – but we have

more words than experience

for what we mean."

 

He goes on to list many things,

beautifully wantable...

"I want to spend time sitting still,

or walking slowly,

wondering at and feeling the basic sense of existence,

of being alive-dead,

of watching my breath,

of hearing all sounds in the air,

and of letting clouds and stars caress my eyes.

I want to let go of anxiety and turn it into laughter, and realize absolutely that

life and death

are two sides of the same coin.

I want a companion who will, alternatively, melt into me and wrestle with me, obey me and object to me, admire me and then suddenly show that they can do so many things much better than I.
I want to sit at a typewriter, at certain times,
carefully and meticulously
putting into words what I feel-

the challenge being that it cannot really be put into words at all.

I want to be able to allay pain and sickness with the touch of my hands.
I want to make a fire of charcoal and burn cedar leaves or sandalwood, late in the evening, while listening or dancing to classical or rock music.

I want to see the reflection of light in glass and crystal, and lying on the ground, to look up at trees patterning a vivid blue sky. At night to go to sleep beneath them, and to wake just before dawn when the stars can still be seen through their branches.

….. earthy as it may be, this is a glimpse of my idea of heaven."

beautifully wantable because they are not things,

but rather experiences.

aaah, I completely connect with that...

I'd love to hear what *your* experience has been with that question.
What touches you as the heart of the matter?

♥

the grace of david whyte...

SOMETIMES

Sometimes
if you move carefully
through the forest

breathing
like the ones
in the old stories

who could cross
a shimmering bed of dry leaves
without a sound,

you come
to a place
whose only task

is to trouble you
with tiny
but frightening requests

conceived out of nowhere
but in this place
beginning to lead everywhere.

Requests to stop what
you are doing right now,
and

to stop what you
are becoming
while you do it,

questions
that can make
or unmake
a life,

questions
that have patiently
waited for you,

questions
that have no right
to go away.

~ David Whyte ~

(Everything is Waiting for You)

The thought-provoking poet David Whyte considers
what we should be asking ourselves--
especially when we least want to
confront our own answers...

don't just *do* something...

...sit there.

Do you have the patience to wait til your mud settles and the water is clear?
Can you remain unmoving til right action arises by itself?
~ Lao-Tzu

The silence we value is not the mere outward silence of the lips. It is a deep quietness of heart and mind, a laying aside of the preoccupation with passing things -- yes, even with the workings of our own minds; a resolute fixing of the heart upon that which is
unchangeable and eternal.
- Caroline Stephen


Be in the truth of each moment - all that you are sensing in the body, thinking in the mind, feeling with the emotions. Don't suppress it and don't support it.
Be with what is.
- Paul Lowe


If you go into a forest with your mind only, you'll only notice the sounds and the mind will try to interpret them. You might think you're present; but you're not really, you're simply judging what you hear. But if you become aware of the silent dimension underneath the sounds and in between the sounds, then you become present because the moment you become aware of the silence,
you also have become silent.
~ Eckhart Tolle