hai.

Lost



Stand still.
The trees ahead and bushes beside you
Are not lost.
Wherever you are is called Here,
And you must treat it as a powerful stranger,
Must ask permission to know it and be known.
The forest breathes.
Listen.
It answers,
I have made this place around you.
If you leave it, you may come back again, saying Here.
No two trees are the same to Raven.
No two branches are the same to Wren.
If what a tree or a bush does is lost on you,
You are surely lost.
Stand still.
The forest knows
Where you are.
You must let it find you.


This poem is David Wagoner's rendering into modern English the answer a Northwest Native American elder would give to a young girl or boy who asked the question,

"What do I do when I am lost in the forest?"

David Whyte relates further... "In other words,

'What do I do when I've lost my creative fire?'

which is really

'What do l do when I forget who I am?'

At the very core of creativity there seems to be an admonition that says,

'Your own way is essential.'

This is true even in a traditional master-student relationship. The word 'expert' seems to be like a fog in which we lose ourselves. We feel our lack before we have done the essential work of

touching our own inner longing.

Creativity has much more to do with giving ourselves over to our deepest longings than it does with giving ourselves over to any kind of strategy.
The great poetic and mythic traditions say that creativity has to do with unburdening, with giving yourself a break, with letting fresh air in through the windows, with allowing yourself to be

lost...

profoundly lost,

deeply lost.

This cannot be taught, it must be lived.

In the beginning,
along with the joy of possibility,
you also have to enter this deep well of grief
connected to what you have missed by
refusing to open in the past."


The Well of Grief
Those who will not slip beneath
the still surface on the well of grief
turning downward through its black water
to the place we cannot breathe
will never know the source
from which we drink
the secret water, cold and clear,
nor find in the darkness glimmering
the small round coins
thrown by those who wished for
something else.
~David Whyte 

hai.

(yes)

 

(b)is-ness

I am grateful
for the *spark*
to revisit the inspiration
for this blog,
the dream for us all to
live in possibility
oh, how poetically,
swiftly,
a person
who made himself available
is guided
to the wellspring of wonder
tapping into his own potential
through playing his instrument
riding the wave of

one-buttock playing (!)

his music became the instrument
that touched souls,
lifted spirits,
and connected us to one another.
becoming fascinated
along the way
by mis-takes
in the garden of
discovery,

the ultimate glory

of these gifts

goes to the

higher source of power

which is so much

grander and vast

than our own concept of

their potential.

hallelujah.

passing through

In this place of tremendous insecurity

I raise my arms in the air and say

'how fascinating!'

for this blessed awakening

shines a light in the direction of the only security there actually is in my view,

groundlessness.
change.

living in a space beyond hope

and beyond fear,

in the present moment.

this insecurity keeps

my heart open.

practicing

seeing

with a fresh view,

my spirit has been moved

higher,

lower,

and wider.

who knew that it was possible to

lift lower!

for me this idea of lifting lower translates

within the rich duality of ones'

evolving comprehension of darkness

and spiritual mysteries,

intertwining the nature of those two notions

creates a

space between

where the

softness of loving and acceptance

and pure clarity

resides.

a space that simply

is.

a space that is the ground

made fertile by

cultivating into it

our manure of experience,

individually and collectively...

haven't yet arrived

but not just starting...

♥

perky

percolation:
seeping through an opening.

does the coffee bean have something to teach us about responding expansively to adversity?

unlike a carrot that starts out strong but then wilts
or an egg that starts out soft
then becomes hardened on the inside,
when heated in boiling water,

ground coffee beans become something

useful, tasty, even beautiful...

Into the fire of Life's mysteries I dance 

With the book of my heart wide open

I may find love

I may find pain

But only an open book can be written in

And I have stories to tell

~ 'Flamenco' by Kim McElroy 

...the family of things

parable

rooted in the profound yet simple experience

of loving and living

feeling and being

trying and reaching, and resting

listen

for the natural rhythm

of existence

breathing in

breathing out

gently merging

with the breath,

being breathed,

aaah, pure bliss

a dance 

with your greatest gift

~mh

Wild Geese

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountains and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

from Dream Work by Mary Oliver

further

In my previous post when I quoted Alan Watts saying that he wanted to

realize absolutely that

life and death are two sides of the same coin,

it struck a deep chord in me.


A 'radical acceptance of death'
can be a learned approach
to life,
as can clouding ones' perspective
with fear and ignorance.



At the time of my grandfather's death when I was eleven, innately I had no fear of what was occurring. Somehow I was very in touch with the
natural process of him passing,
including the months leading up to that afternoon,
after we had gotten the morning call
that the time was near.
yet at the end, I was excluded.
sent to sit in the waiting room by myself.


We all do the best we can,
and nurses do their jobs.
they (nor did I then) did not know how deeply I was
feeling this loss.
those weren't just tears
because he was gone.
I also lost part of my voice.
and I was cheated out of experiencing

that part of the grieving process

in the moment.

Untouched grief lies dormant,
and when it rises up
beckoning and then
demanding to be
seen and felt at last,
it is an opportunity for healing and forgiveness,
and reclaiming wholeness...


Back to realizing how life and death being
two sides of the same coin
 is vitally important in learning to embrace life,
and to live in possibility.

Aha!

Both are equally juicy, complex topics!

They are only as 'out there'
as we choose to keep them...

further 'food' for thought...

Though we live in a largely hands-off culture, especially when it comes to the actual process of dying, it is completely within our rights to organize our own

home funeral:

A noncommercial, family centered response to death that involves the family and its social community in the care and preparation of the body for burial or cremation, and/or in planning and carrying out related rituals or ceremonies, and/or in the burial or cremation itself.

There are also people
offering compassionate support

for the final transition process.

“I request that my body in death be buried, not cremated, so that the energy content contained within it gets returned to the earth so that flora and fauna can dine upon it just as I have dined upon flora and fauna throughout my life.” —Neil deGrasse Tyson

Since our bodies have many toxins in them,
not to mention the added pollutants like formaldehyde and embalming agents in traditional preservation,

this woman presenting her mushroom burial suit
 takes the green burial a step further,

which for me is quite possibly an ultimate way of

leaving the world better than I found it...

♥

whereabouts unknown

what.do.you.want?

when some people are asked this question,
they are able to form a list with the greatest of ease.

i am not one of those people.
(unless it's in the context of ordering lunch, in which case, I know all too well what I want and how I want it! I'm one of 'those people' who often alters or substitutes {surprised?}, which of course is not what I am
talking about here.
think 'cloudy-er',
what-do-you-want-out-of-your-life'ier)

but i am becoming quite fond of

sitting with this question.

because it always leads me to the
warmer, *juicy-er* underbelly...

Our minds tend to lead us to believe that what we think/believe/feel we want is paramount, but in my experience, regularly asking the question with freshness is the container in which to listen for the essence, the underlying current, of what is actually going on in reality. Giving some space for the what's to breathe and stretch out... and taking a look at *that*

or simply being with that new shape

is what brings a clarity to the totality of it,
as it relates to your life,
allowing the natural response to its sister question
'what are you / do you want to be doing?' to arise.

There's also this idea Alan Watts presents in Cloud Hidden:

"We do not know what we want because we are only so dimly aware of

anything wantable.

We have taught ourselves to pursue such abstract and weakly perceived goals as happiness, love, goodness, service to others, fun, fame, fortune, power, peace, or God – but we have

more words than experience

for what we mean."

 

He goes on to list many things,

beautifully wantable...

"I want to spend time sitting still,

or walking slowly,

wondering at and feeling the basic sense of existence,

of being alive-dead,

of watching my breath,

of hearing all sounds in the air,

and of letting clouds and stars caress my eyes.

I want to let go of anxiety and turn it into laughter, and realize absolutely that

life and death

are two sides of the same coin.

I want a companion who will, alternatively, melt into me and wrestle with me, obey me and object to me, admire me and then suddenly show that they can do so many things much better than I.
I want to sit at a typewriter, at certain times,
carefully and meticulously
putting into words what I feel-

the challenge being that it cannot really be put into words at all.

I want to be able to allay pain and sickness with the touch of my hands.
I want to make a fire of charcoal and burn cedar leaves or sandalwood, late in the evening, while listening or dancing to classical or rock music.

I want to see the reflection of light in glass and crystal, and lying on the ground, to look up at trees patterning a vivid blue sky. At night to go to sleep beneath them, and to wake just before dawn when the stars can still be seen through their branches.

….. earthy as it may be, this is a glimpse of my idea of heaven."

beautifully wantable because they are not things,

but rather experiences.

aaah, I completely connect with that...

I'd love to hear what *your* experience has been with that question.
What touches you as the heart of the matter?

♥

voicing

'Bach is the greatest of the human composers,

but in my opinion

Mozart is an angel.

And one thing that makes him angelic is that

he knows exactly when to stop.

He knows when to shut up.

And in doing that he gives you

your

own

song'

~poet James Wright

What does it mean to

sing your own song?

Find your voice?

leo babauta's (himself a writer, but I believe the ideas he presents here will help anyone in this quest)
take inspires me
and makes me wonder if anyone intending to
live purposefully
might tap into one's inner confidence
by
experimenting boldly,
learning to hear yourself,
finding what feels true, finding clarity,
removing the 'noise',
and using your voice
not just to express yourself for your own sake,
but to help others
and positively affect our broader community and world.


allow yourself to be touched and lifted by the music...
of your life...
 ~    ~    ~    ~

speak your truth - even if your voice shakes...

♥

little did

this one's for you, kid.

 

they do.
matter.
the little things.
 a glimpse from
nineteen ninety-nine:
'I may not understand the why
but I get the need to.'

 accepting and assisting,
lovingly lifting.

girly gathering gumption.

going, girlfriend gives guidance

gracefully and good!

gosh... grateful.

♥

from my heart rock cafe to yours. miss you!

haiku II

merge with nonfiction

existence thrives on wonder

makes space for unfaced

~mh

playful

freeform haiku

emerge nonfiction

the bliss of discovering

which book will find me

~mh

heightened perspective

I got invited to go flying!

A glimpse 'from where I was'...

 my friend and her pilot friend, who was a most

delightful and generous guide.

 The Bay of Fundy at low tide.

Did you know the Bay of Fundy has the highest tides in the world?

Around 50 feet!

As the tides flow in they wind deep into the valley.

Doesn't this look like an inviting place

to go to university?

Amethyst is found on these cliffs.

I felt calm just looking at them.

People can and do hike along here,

mindful of course of the tide schedule.

At high tide only some of the tips will be visible.

can you see the love in the air...

♥

This was my first time experiencing a small plane flight and I am so grateful for the opportunity. I met my new friend at a retreat last month, and we connected instantly when we found out about our common trait of high sensitivity. I have been so appreciating her friendship, and on this particular day was inspired by her direct, unapologetic, yet respectful way of stating a need. People with high sensitivity experience stimuli on a deep level, not generally outwardly apparent to others. I was so excited about this experience, yet felt slightly overwhelmed by all of the new-ness. Not to mention the added challenge of a noisy airplane and wearing headphones with a persnickety microphone. About 10 minutes into the flight, my friend simply said to our pilot (they have known each other for over ten years and he is not a hsp) that although pointing out particular sights is appreciated, she and I are both hsp's and also need to take in some silence while enjoying the sights. After that, there was a nice balance, like the tide, a natural ebb and flow of information and pleasant conversation without the need for 'fillers'.

 breathtaking expanse...

other goings-on at the airport that day.

perhaps next time!

she rocks

and she rolls...

♥

 

thirty-nine

I think I'll embrace

turning thirty-nine

in equine fashion

and proclaim that

I am now

"in my fortieth year"

instead of waiting

a whole year to

feel

and allow

the  

excitement and

anticipation

of this

milestone

to come

alive

in my being,

embodying

more fully

who I am.

today.

mindful that

life is a garden

not a road

leading somewhere.

somewhere is now.

♥

play-in-progress

"The moment one gives close attention to anything,

even a blade of grass,

it becomes a mysterious,

awesome,

indescribably magnificent
world in itself."

~Henry Miller

the grace of david whyte...

SOMETIMES

Sometimes
if you move carefully
through the forest

breathing
like the ones
in the old stories

who could cross
a shimmering bed of dry leaves
without a sound,

you come
to a place
whose only task

is to trouble you
with tiny
but frightening requests

conceived out of nowhere
but in this place
beginning to lead everywhere.

Requests to stop what
you are doing right now,
and

to stop what you
are becoming
while you do it,

questions
that can make
or unmake
a life,

questions
that have patiently
waited for you,

questions
that have no right
to go away.

~ David Whyte ~

(Everything is Waiting for You)

The thought-provoking poet David Whyte considers
what we should be asking ourselves--
especially when we least want to
confront our own answers...

(gr)attitude

could it be, that...

gratitude

is actually a

sense of

heightened awareness of

our connection

to everything else ?

does Gratitude
*flow more freely*
when we break out of the

small, self-centered point of view

that gratitude arises from a feeling of

indebtedness,

and become aware

and appreciate

that through the
labors and intentions
and even the simple

existence

of an inconceivably large number of

people,

animals,

plants,

weather patterns,

chemical reactions, and other

nuanced occurrences,

we have been given the

miracle

that is our life?

i don't know.

but it seems to me that
there is

truth

in this
incredible

interconnectedness.

and it is my experience that
through active awareness,

gratitude can be

cultivated

into the attitude.

♥

you can't have something...

without nothing

.

without

space,

you couldn't have anything

solid

.

nothing

is what brings

something

into

*focus*

.

and

nothing is more

fertile

than

*emptiness*

.

~Alan Watts

And forevermore no discussion

about nothing will be complete without including

Seinfeld,

in my humble opinion,

a brilliant show about...

well, you can't have nothing

without something,

but what a hilarious way to

(en)lighten up about the

human experience of it all...

.

something and nothing

are inter-connected

 as Watts says,

in a marvelous system of

WIGGLES...

so go ahead,

dare to live

*your*

*unique*

shimmy-shake!

♥

'garden splendor'

Milan ~ a completely self-taught artist

born in Angeles City, Phillipines

"What lifts you into a higher perspective of your overall life, current situations and conditions aside,

and is there any imagery you connect with that

grounds you at the same time?"

in the spirit of living the questions,

for me what lifts and grounds me is

whatever touches

the loving as well as the suffering

in my heart,

awakening,

exciting,

lifting,

and soothing

spirit and soul,

connecting me to my higher power
and all other be-ings.

yoga!

poetry.

art.

humour.

nature,

being among it as well as

imagery like the piece above.

~   ~   ~

Perhaps all the dragons in our lives are only princesses waiting for us to act, just once, with beauty and courage. Perhaps everything that frightens us is, in its deepest essence something that wants our love.

~ Rainer Maria Rilke