It matters.

THE POET 

moves forward
to that edge

but lives sensibly,

through the senses
not because of them.

Above all he watches
where he steps,
as if it matters

where he leaves his prints.

The senses overwhelm him
at his peril.

Though he must be taken
by something greater.
That is what he uses
senses to perceive.
....

~ David Whyte

listening beneath the noise

Notes from the universe

I understand that you must wonder, sometimes to the point of bewilderment, at what you're truly capable of doing. Yet, therein lies the "problem," because living the life of your dreams is far more about what I'm capable of doing.

Surrender - 

The Universe

you see, all I need's a whisper in a world that only shouts...

and an attitude of gratitude....

(Also found at https://vimeo.com/44131171)

_/|\_ listen, what is beneath the noise _/|\_

gratitude taproot

taproot:  the main root of a plant, growing straight downward from the stem, usually stouter than the roots that grow laterally from it.

a selfish way to save the world: foundation of self esteem and gratitude taproot; meeting human needs, and

bringing your greatest gifts forward

...to become aerodynamic by supercharging natural strengths

a great talk on this concept by Giovanni Cavalieri:

 

step one: get your fundamental needs met

        step two: give your greatest gift

step three: receive the gift of a life well lived

step four: let the whole world receive the gift of

your life well lived

~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~     ~

Let us rise up and be thankful

for if we didn't learn a lot today

at least we learned a little

and if we didn't learn a little

at least we didn't get sick

and if we got sick

at least we didn't die

so, let us all be thankful.

~ Buddha ~

pineapple! PinEaPpLE!

When Ross The Intern met Steve Irwin years ago, he came up with a codeword for when an experience with a wild animal was getting to be too much.

this video is not only

delightful and hilarious (wish the quality was better though),

it's also a very practical guide on

how to contend with impending overwhelm by utilizing the

valuable fear management tool that is:

pineapple!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXbCY_yRWOc

The genuineness of Ross' responses in the moment

and the way Steve responds to him just touches my hopeful li'l heart.

It is important to believe someone when they say pineapple,

but it is helpful to also verify they really mean it

and get a sense of whether there is space

to go beyond that initial sense of fear.

HSP's have a tendency to be extra cautious, and speaking for myself,

at times I do appreciate gentle encouragement and support from others

to consider going beyond that first pineapple.

Sometimes I say pineapple as a protection,

an anticipation of pineapple.

Whatever stage of pineapple, taking that risk to go further can be like an unspoken agreement to borrow some of the confidence of an 'expert' for a short while

in order to reach the next plateau.

And by expert, it doesn't have to be the level of a Steve Irwin, sometimes it can even be a more experienced part of ourselves that knows we want to stretch a bit.

understanding those subtle layers of pineapple,

while respecting that 'pineapple, really'

does mean there is impending panic in that moment.

Enough, for now.

As someone who tends to take life much too seriously,

this video always lightens me right up

and it came to mind as I was processing a recent job experience.

Less than a week after I started it,

I felt like Ross when the animal was first presented,

and I immediately began looking for my Zone of Safety.

For four weeks it eluded me,

and when I tested the waters of trust in those above me

it was getting clear why my spirit was not going to find the

peace it needed to breathe fully.

having a tendency to undervalue my own contributions,

not being valued for what I was bringing to the table from the corporate structure

was looking like it would be a recurring theme

which would damage me emotionally in the longrun.

So I said pineapple.

And removed the tarantula from my shoulder.

They said 'pineapple already?'

(but we need at least a 2 week notice!)

I said pineapple, really, but I am interested in leaving on good terms,

so okay, I can do that.

I just won't breathe on the tarantula.

One day into the 2 weeks I got an extreme headcold

and had to call in sick the next day.

It was unquestionably the right and only thing to do.

That afternoon they called me to say that the day before would be my last day,

'so that they could get someone else in and trained'.

Because of that abruptness, it took a little while to see the favor they were doing me.

They saved me from 2 weeks of further ruminating over of my own sense of pineapple

and trying to explain the unexplainable.

especially to my self.

It can be challenging to accept that pineapple really is quite simply, pineapple really.

~

YOUR FIXED IDENTITY ~ Pema Chodron

In Buddhism we call the notion of a fixed identity “ego clinging.”

It’s how we try to put solid ground under our feet in an ever-shifting world.

Meditation practice starts to erode that fixed identity.

As you sit, you begin to see yourself with more clarity,

and you notice how attached you are to your opinions about yourself.

Often the first blow to the fixed identity is precipitated by a crisis.

When things fall apart in your life, you feel as if your whole world is crumbling.

But actually it’s your fixed identity that’s crumbling.

And as Chögyam Trungpa used to tell us, that’s cause for celebration. 

"The planet does not need more 'successful people'. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds. It needs people to live well in their places. It needs people with moral courage willing to join the struggle to make the world habitable and humane and these qualities have little to do with success as our culture has set."

- H.H.The Dalai Lama

sea-ing

shortly before this, he was not too keen on playing in the water,

or on being apart from mommy...

amazing what we are capable of when given the space

to stretch the limits of our comfort zones,

and the gentle encouragement to try new experiences...

☀

we learn to tap into our true potential

and from that, infinite possibilities arise...

 uncle ray helped him to fly

an experience that is a little frightening, but thrilling at the same time
(fear and excitement bring about physiologically similar responses in our bodies)

conquering fear,

we feel good, feel accomplished.

  going a little too far is often how we find our edge.
finding our outer limits that each moment brings is the larger practice.
if we embrace these limits and *sea* them for what they are,
we allow our edges to become less solidified...

running in water is an adjustment
legs don't move as fast as they do on land but the first time we encounter this
it is natural for our mind to still think they will carry us in the same way...
we can only see that our legs didn't fail us, the sea is not a bad place,
when we give ourselves the space
to be imperfect
we are not meant to get things right on the first try, every time,
nor to be perfect...

 we can always just pause, shift gears, retreat for a while...
know that it is enough for now

and still feel good, feel accomplished.

like horses after an exciting experience, going back to grazing.
this is the part most of us are not trained to do in our culture,
we are not taught the value of grazing!
if we are constantly pushing ourselves, we are only learning to push more,
we are literally

~ training in never be-ing enough ~

*just be-ing*
is the only way true awareness and wisdom about our experiences arises.

(he embraced getting sandy which he also wasn't keen on at first!)

sharing what we have learned by helping others to also face their fears
we are marking our progress, building confidence
and reassuring loved ones that we are okay, we are learning, this is all a part of living.

mentors and teachers come in all sizes, even (especially) at a year and a half young...

this now 3 year-old continues to splash, and play, stumble, and graze

in a loving, supportive container

every day he is learning more about himself
and to trust his own experience with the world.

what's more important in life than that...

☀

may we all practice *sea-ing* the seeds of possibility

that have been planted in our own lives.

some may need more cultivation than others,

but trust that they are there...

☀☀☀

The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.

~Isak Dinesen

☀☀☀☀☀☀

There's a rhythm under the song...

And it beats for the old and the young

And it pounds in the back of the sun

It's the sound of one drummer, one drum

There's a rhythm, it's subtle yet strong

And it moves all the wallflowers on

To the dance floor that holds everyone

To the sound of one drummer, one drum

Dance, for the time marches on

Off to a war that can never be won

To the heartbeat of drums

There's a rhythm, not cruel or kind

Though you feel that it's left you behind

Is it justice or you, that is blind

When you don't see it coming, how come?

There's a rhythm under the song

And it beats for the old and the young

And it pounds in the back of the sun

It's the sound of one drummer, one drum

~Ron Sexsmith

☀

lionheart

Bouquets

One flower at a time, please

however small the face.

Two flowers are one flower

too many, a distraction.

Three flowers in a vase begin

to be a little noisy.

Like cocktail conversation,

everybody talking.

A crowd of flowers is a crowd

of flatterers (forgive me).

One flower at a time.

I want to hear what it is saying.

-robert francis

I was made this one-at-a-time way.

I am also part of my beautiful mama's garden.

Emotional overwhelm is something I am prone to.
At a younger age (and still to a lesser extent)
it was overwhelm from the feelings themselves.

I feel deeply and a lot.

As I age into my fourth decade,

'what to do' about intense feelings can overwhelm me.

Clearly, nothing needs to be done about the feelings themselves. They are what they are, indicators of what is going on under the surface, and a tremendous source of wisdom.

Engaging the courage to feel with the willingness to act is true assertiveness.

Lionheart ~ Kim McElroy

I was blessed to be at this

Live performance at the Hollywood Bowl in 2008.

It was also Overwhelming...

♥

sidewalks

♥

There is no way to peace.
Peace is the way.
A.J. Muste

Gentleness is a complex and powerful tool, and learning to work with this tool can be a slippery slope. To many of us, it's counter-intuitive to be gentle with ourselves, and gentleness is often wielded only as a soothing balm, when
its full potential is so much more.

Learning to use gentleness
in a skillful way is important work.

Gentleness when it comes to change is vital. This little story precisely describes the process, may it inspire some gentleness toward yourself and empower you to move through to your next chapter...

Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
Portia Nelson from There's a Hole in My Sidewalk

Chapter 1

I walk down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost ... I am helpless.
It isn't my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don't see it.
I fall in again.
I can't believe I am in the same place.
But it isn't my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in ... it's a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault.
I get out immediately.

Chapter 4

I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.

Chapter 5

I walk down another street.

"Solvitur en modo, Firmitur en rey"

Gentle in what you do,

Firm in how you do it

~    ~    ~
Disciplined Meditation is a How...
~    ~    ~

“Meditation is about seeing clearly the body that we have, the mind that we have, the domestic situation that we have, the job that we have, and the people who are in our lives. It’s about seeing how we react to all these things. It’s seeing our emotions and thoughts just as they are right now, in this very moment, in this very room, on this very seat. It’s about not trying to make them go away, not trying to become better than we are, but just seeing clearly with precision and gentleness.”

— Pema Chodron

my mama's garden
♥

sojourner

temporarily residing

Nature's music is never over;
her silences are pauses, not conclusions.
- Mary Webb
 

magnifique!

“Many of Danielle Richard’s paintings feature a vista, a clearing,

a door, or a window through which a feminine gaze appears to flee,

but what it truly seeks is to delve into its most intimate being.”

♥

even though I don't understand French, I love listening to it.

this looks like a lovely presentation in Danielle's honour...

A bit of history about the origin of the word 'empathy' in Art that doesn't seem to be commonly known: In 1873, the art historian and philosopher Robert Vischer was the first person credited with using the German term Einfühlung to explain how we  'feel into' or the 'in-feeling of' works of arts and nature. His father, Friedrich Theodor Vischer, had previously used a similar term Einfühlen in explorations of Idealism relative to architectural form.

In the late 1800s the Father of Experimental Psychology William Wundt used empathy in terms of human relationships but still from an art-based position, saying 'when empathizing with a work of art, the beholder physically imitates the object and imaginatively projects himself into the object.'

A student of Wundt's, Theodor Lipps, transfered empathy to psychology in an attempt to explain how we discover that other people have selves, though he presented many examples from the visual arts, including 'when I observe a circus performer on a hanging wire, I feel I am inside him'.

Freud got in there then with 'putting oneself in another person's position', and in 1909, a psychologist named Edward Titchener translated Einfühlung into the adjective 'empathic' which he defined as the appreciation of another person's feelings, or the process of humanizing objects,

of reading or feeling ourselves into them.

From then on it seems like the art/aesthetic origin was no longer referred to, and around 1929 it started to get confusing when philosophers began arguing that empathy was more cognitive than emotional, and ever since then the lines between empathy and sympathy have been blurred, empathy commonly referring to cognitive function and sympathy to feeling, though they are often used interchangeably in today's society (this confusion clearly illustrated especially in the comments here). It also became a political tool; it can be very politically incorrect to be non-empathetic, and to be sympathetic has its own weakness/negative connotations as well.

I would like to see the downfalls of this confusion around

the word empathy and how it is being used as a distraction illustrated more clearly and spoken of more often,

as Edwin Friedman does in the fascinating book

A Failure of Nerve, where he says that the increased popularity of empathy is largely a symptom of the 'herding/togetherness forced characteristic of an

anxious society'.

I personally align with the earlier meaning of empathy in which I see the roots being represented aesthetically

('the science of feelings') through the arts as early (and likely even earlier) as the mid-1700's when Johann Georg Sulzer said that 'art is the expression of a psychological state of man; it imitates human nature in that it expresses nature through the representation of an object.'

Going with this version of empathy and distinguishing it from sympathy by defining it simply as having loyalty, support, or favor with, ultimately paves the way for less semantic confusion and more opportunity to...

throw all of this out the window!

and just be compassionate.

that is, recognize our shared humanity.

♥

Feel life.

Be life.

Accept life.

tribal

I'm happy that Susan Cain has written a book (currently a nytimes bestseller) about the unique challenge many of us intrinsically 'Quiet' people face in our society...
(her talk on TED.com recently about the book is delightful. she makes a great comment about the irony of an introvert's job being to go out and speak to large groups about it (!) so it is inspiring how she approached it and labeled this her 'year of speaking dangerously'.)

I personally don't think of all quieter people as introverts, and thus all louder people as extroverts, but rather at our core, we all fall somewhere along a spectrum. And I feel it is beneficial to have the awareness of where we ourselves generally are on that spectrum, and to also be aware that about one-third of those among us are much more on the higher sensitivity end of the spectrum (the bulk of whom are also introverts but many are also extroverts as Elaine Aron brilliantly speaks to here). Included in my Living in Possibility quest is an individual path toward self-acceptance that leads to self-celebration (of course I don't mean this in an egoic/outward achievement sense but in an inward, Divine knowing way), at whatever volume works.

please be careful with me

I'm sensitive

and I'd like to stay that way

~Jewel

One way of getting along with it all is allowing

more space around each situation. 

these days, I try to give myself

the freedom to be

situationally:

*extroverted ~ sometimes this is necessary and I do enjoy stretching in this way on occasion.
*quiet ~ this one comes naturally, while claiming it as a rejuvenative and creative necessity does not.
*vegetarian ~ all about balance and striving toward inner and outer harmonization. as my body, as well as my understanding of its nutritional needs combined with the broader impact of our individual and collective choices evolves, so have my eating choices.
*and tribal ~ it seems the further I travel along life's highway the more I engage with the concept/cost of contending with the proverbial square peg/round hole. And I am truly blessed to feel connected with several tribes along the spectrum, though this hsp/quiet/introvert/extrovert stuff is largely unspoken. I intend to dance more with my perceived danger of speaking to this...

☀

Always remember that you are absolutely unique.

Just like everyone else.

~anthropologist Margaret Mead

☀

Tibetan New Year

The Dragon is a symbol of

power, assertiveness, expansion,

and intensity.

The Dragon thunders in the sky with the sound of compassion that awakens us from delusion and increases what we can know through

hearing.

Dragons have the power of

complete communication.

Today marks the beginning of the

Year of the Water Dragon...

♡

Put on your crown
and pick up your sword.
Get on your horse.
Raise tremendous windhorse
and realize that
in your heart center
are the three jewels
of the great Eastern Sun.
This is the way we ride
into this particular year.
Just like this,
ride into your life.
Everyday
like
this.
The Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche
  

heightened perspective

I got invited to go flying!

A glimpse 'from where I was'...

 my friend and her pilot friend, who was a most

delightful and generous guide.

 The Bay of Fundy at low tide.

Did you know the Bay of Fundy has the highest tides in the world?

Around 50 feet!

As the tides flow in they wind deep into the valley.

Doesn't this look like an inviting place

to go to university?

Amethyst is found on these cliffs.

I felt calm just looking at them.

People can and do hike along here,

mindful of course of the tide schedule.

At high tide only some of the tips will be visible.

can you see the love in the air...

♥

This was my first time experiencing a small plane flight and I am so grateful for the opportunity. I met my new friend at a retreat last month, and we connected instantly when we found out about our common trait of high sensitivity. I have been so appreciating her friendship, and on this particular day was inspired by her direct, unapologetic, yet respectful way of stating a need. People with high sensitivity experience stimuli on a deep level, not generally outwardly apparent to others. I was so excited about this experience, yet felt slightly overwhelmed by all of the new-ness. Not to mention the added challenge of a noisy airplane and wearing headphones with a persnickety microphone. About 10 minutes into the flight, my friend simply said to our pilot (they have known each other for over ten years and he is not a hsp) that although pointing out particular sights is appreciated, she and I are both hsp's and also need to take in some silence while enjoying the sights. After that, there was a nice balance, like the tide, a natural ebb and flow of information and pleasant conversation without the need for 'fillers'.

 breathtaking expanse...

other goings-on at the airport that day.

perhaps next time!