belonging. be.

THE HOUSE OF BELONGING

I awoke

this morning 

in the gold light 

turning this way

and that

thinking for 

a moment 

it was one 

day

like any other.

But 

the veil had gone 

from my 

darkened heart 

and 

I thought

it must have been the quiet 

candlelight 

that filled my room,

it must have been 

the first 

easy rhythm 

with which I breathed 

myself to sleep,

it must have been 

the prayer I said 

speaking to the otherness 

of the night.

And 

I thought 

this is the good day 

you could 

meet your love,

this is the gray day 

someone close 

to you could die.

This is the day 

you realize 

how easily the thread 

is broken 

between this world 

and the next

and I found myself 

sitting up 

in the quiet pathway 

of light,

the tawny close 

grained cedar 

burning round 

me like fire 

and all the angels 

of this housely 

heaven ascending 

through the first 

roof of light 

the sun had made.

This is the bright home 

in which I live, 

this is where 

I ask

my friends 

to come, 

this is where I want 

to love all the things 

it has taken me so long 

to learn to love.

This is the temple 

of my adult aloneness 

and I belong 

to that aloneness 

as I belong to my life.

There is no house 

like the house of belonging.

…

'The House of Belonging'

From The House of Belonging

Poems by David Whyte

© David Whyte and Many Rivers Press

Butterflies: To Harness and Ride

From Lissa Rankin's The Fear Cure:

99% of fears are false fears that exist solely in the imagination where there’s no real threat. False fears trigger the fight-or-flight stress response unnecessarily, which not only disables the body’s natural self-healing mechanisms and predisposes us to illness – it also limits our capacity to step fully into our life’s purpose, when our radiance, talents, love, brilliance, and creativity are desperately needed in a world that needs all hands on deck as we collectively wake up.

When you think a fearful thought, how does your body feel? Do you feel relaxed and grounded when you think the thought? Or do you feel tightness in your chest or gripping in your solar plexus? Intuition (one form of true fear) tends to come with a very relaxed physical feeling, accompanied by a sense of direct knowing, whereas false fear tends to feel tense in a body and panicky in the mind.

True fear is here to protect you, and even false fear is something to be grateful for. I think of false fear as the finger pointing towards everything in need of healing in your life. Physical therapist Val Zajicek defines “PAIN” as Pay Attention Inside Now, and I think false fear is just such a pain, an uncomfortable emotion that invites us to Pay Attention Inside Now.

Common fear-inducing beliefs in Western Culture and 

Possible Brave New Belief alternatives:

• Uncertainty is unsafe (so I have to do everything I can to control my life)
• Uncertainty is the gateway to possibility (when we don’t know what the future holds, ANYTHING could happen! Exciting!)
• I can’t handle losing what I cherish (so I have to protect myself from loss)
• Loss is natural and can lead to growth (sometimes loss breaks us open to our true selves and opens our hearts to how fully we can love)
• It’s a hostile universe (so I’d better be on guard)
• It’s a purposeful universe (we may not understand why bad things happen to good people, but we can learn to trust that we’re always learning to be more resilient, even when we’re hurting)
• I am all alone (in a hostile, uncertain world where I might lose what I cherish)
• We are all One (mystics and sages have been saying it for years, but there’s actually evidence that we are all interconnected in ways science is only now beginning to be able to measure)

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

The most important decision we make
is whether we believe
we live in a friendly
or hostile universe.
~ Albert Einstein

If only we learned how to harness and ride rather than hunt and kill the butterflies that live in the gut of every person who strives to create something extraordinary from nothing.

~ Jonathan Fields

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * 

listening beneath the noise

Notes from the universe

I understand that you must wonder, sometimes to the point of bewilderment, at what you're truly capable of doing. Yet, therein lies the "problem," because living the life of your dreams is far more about what I'm capable of doing.

Surrender - 

The Universe

you see, all I need's a whisper in a world that only shouts...

and an attitude of gratitude....

(Also found at https://vimeo.com/44131171)

_/|\_ listen, what is beneath the noise _/|\_

perspective

there

mesmerized

two hours

passes like minutes

where am I

sitting

in India

or key west

during

peace week

dissolving

softening inside

creating space

gratitude

re-energized

ah,

impermanence

The mandala represents an imaginary palace that is contemplated during meditation. Each object in the palace has significance, representing an aspect of wisdom or reminding the meditator of a guiding principle. The mandala's purpose is to help transform ordinary minds into enlightened ones and to assist with healing.

According to Buddhist scripture, mandalas constructed from sand transmit positive energies to the environment and to the people who view them. They are believed to effect purification and healing. Mandala sand painting was introduced by the Buddha himself and there are many different designs of mandala, each with different lessons to teach.

The design of the mandala is marked with chalk on a wooden platform. This meticulous process takes an entire day.

Starting from the centre and concentrically working outwards, the monks use metal funnels called chak-pur to place millions of grains of dyed sand to make the elaborate patterns. The vibrations of the chak-pur being grated with a metal rod cause the sands to flow like liquid.

monks from Drepung Gomang Monastery in India at St Paul's

Key West, FL January 10, 2017

Once the mandala is complete the monks ask for the deities' healing blessings during a ceremony. As the monks chant, one monk begins the destruction of the mandala by scraping a knuckle through the sand, creating a cross of grey sand.

Another monk takes a paintbrush and slowly and carefully sweeps the sand from the perimeter to the centre of the mandala. The destruction of the mandala serves as a reminder of the impermanence of life.

The coloured sand is swept up into an urn and dispersed into flowing water - a way of extending the healing powers to the whole world. It is seen as a gift to the mother earth to re-energise the environment and universe. 

The above text is from a BBC Religions online article on the mandala.

_/|\_

Only emptiness can give you more.

Any other kind of "more" becomes less,

intensifying your dissatisfaction

and cluttering your beingness.

- Mooji

life is a garden

not a road

we enter and exit

through the same

gate

wandering

where we go

matters less

than what we

notice

-bokonon

 

Is

 

As She Is

To live in this world
you must be able to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.

~Mary Oliver, In Blackwater Woods
Painting: Henri Matisse

colourful

Haruki Murakami's colourful expression in words..... sigh.

"Yet it was this pain, and this sense of being choked, that he needed. It was exactly what he had to acknowledge, what he had to confront. From now on, he had to make that cold core melt, bit by bit. It might take time, but it was what he had to do. But his own body heat wasn't enough to melt that frozen soil. He needed someone else's warmth."

"First things first. Build the station. A special station just for her. The kind of station where trains want to stop, even if they have no reason to do so. Imagine that kind of station, and give it actual color and shape. Write your name on the foundation with a nail, and breathe life into it. I know you have the power to do that. Don't forget - you're the one who swam across the freezing sea at night."

"It doesn't matter... it's just a physical phenomenon, no more. The spring on a wound watch gets steadily looser, the torque grows closer and closer to zero, until the gears stop altogether and the hands come to rest at a set position. Silence descends. Isn't that all it is?"

"It was a wonderful thing to be able to truly want someone like this - the feeling was so real, so overpowering. He hadn't felt this way in ages. Maybe he never had before. Not that everything about it was wonderful: his chest ached, he found it hard to breathe, and a fear, a dark oscillation, had hold of him. But now even that kind of ache had become an important part of the affection he felt. He didn't want to let that feeling slip from his grasp. Once lost, he might never happen across that warmth again. If he had to lose it, he would rather lose himself."

A one-mile stretch of Canada and US border

appearances can be deceiving

How.

How to stop time: kiss.

How to travel in time: read.

How to escape time: music.

How to feel time: write.

How to release time: breathe.

~ Matt Haig ~

    

          

            

David Whyte COURAGE

is a word that tempts us to think outwardly, to run bravely against opposing fire, to do something under besieging circumstance, and perhaps, above all, to be seen to do it in public, to show courage; to be celebrated in story, rewarded with medals, given the accolade: but a look at its linguistic origins leads us in a more interior direction and toward its original template, the old Norman French, Coeur, or heart. 

Courage is the measure of our heartfelt participation with life, with another, with a community, a work, a future. To be courageous, is not necessarily to go anywhere or do anything except to make conscious those things we already feel deeply and then to live through the unending vulnerabilities of those consequences. To be courageous is to seat our feelings deeply in the body and in the world: to live up to and into the necessities of relationships that often already exist, with things we find we already care deeply about: with a person, a future, a possibility in society, or with an unknown that begs us on and always has begged us on. Whether we stay or whether we go - to be courageous is to stay close to the way we are made…

"This tiny, ruined, monastic fishing house in Cong, County Mayo, has been a place where, over the years, I have found the needed courage to both make and break promises: promises that have emboldened and promises that have imprisoned. The river flows strongly under its four square solidity, and three of its walls form a private shelter for necessary thought, the fourth wall is gone and looks down stream, where all our promises must flow. It is a structure that, all of its own, holds the courageous conversation between what is actually here and what has already gone." DW

oh the places she has been

My belief is in the blood and flesh as being wiser than the intellect. The body-unconscious is where life bubbles up in use. It is how we know that we are alive, alive to the depths of our souls and in touch somewhere with the vivid reaches of the cosmos.

– D. H. Lawrence

pineapple! PinEaPpLE!

When Ross The Intern met Steve Irwin years ago, he came up with a codeword for when an experience with a wild animal was getting to be too much.

this video is not only

delightful and hilarious (wish the quality was better though),

it's also a very practical guide on

how to contend with impending overwhelm by utilizing the

valuable fear management tool that is:

pineapple!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CXbCY_yRWOc

The genuineness of Ross' responses in the moment

and the way Steve responds to him just touches my hopeful li'l heart.

It is important to believe someone when they say pineapple,

but it is helpful to also verify they really mean it

and get a sense of whether there is space

to go beyond that initial sense of fear.

HSP's have a tendency to be extra cautious, and speaking for myself,

at times I do appreciate gentle encouragement and support from others

to consider going beyond that first pineapple.

Sometimes I say pineapple as a protection,

an anticipation of pineapple.

Whatever stage of pineapple, taking that risk to go further can be like an unspoken agreement to borrow some of the confidence of an 'expert' for a short while

in order to reach the next plateau.

And by expert, it doesn't have to be the level of a Steve Irwin, sometimes it can even be a more experienced part of ourselves that knows we want to stretch a bit.

understanding those subtle layers of pineapple,

while respecting that 'pineapple, really'

does mean there is impending panic in that moment.

Enough, for now.

As someone who tends to take life much too seriously,

this video always lightens me right up

and it came to mind as I was processing a recent job experience.

Less than a week after I started it,

I felt like Ross when the animal was first presented,

and I immediately began looking for my Zone of Safety.

For four weeks it eluded me,

and when I tested the waters of trust in those above me

it was getting clear why my spirit was not going to find the

peace it needed to breathe fully.

having a tendency to undervalue my own contributions,

not being valued for what I was bringing to the table from the corporate structure

was looking like it would be a recurring theme

which would damage me emotionally in the longrun.

So I said pineapple.

And removed the tarantula from my shoulder.

They said 'pineapple already?'

(but we need at least a 2 week notice!)

I said pineapple, really, but I am interested in leaving on good terms,

so okay, I can do that.

I just won't breathe on the tarantula.

One day into the 2 weeks I got an extreme headcold

and had to call in sick the next day.

It was unquestionably the right and only thing to do.

That afternoon they called me to say that the day before would be my last day,

'so that they could get someone else in and trained'.

Because of that abruptness, it took a little while to see the favor they were doing me.

They saved me from 2 weeks of further ruminating over of my own sense of pineapple

and trying to explain the unexplainable.

especially to my self.

It can be challenging to accept that pineapple really is quite simply, pineapple really.

~

YOUR FIXED IDENTITY ~ Pema Chodron

In Buddhism we call the notion of a fixed identity “ego clinging.”

It’s how we try to put solid ground under our feet in an ever-shifting world.

Meditation practice starts to erode that fixed identity.

As you sit, you begin to see yourself with more clarity,

and you notice how attached you are to your opinions about yourself.

Often the first blow to the fixed identity is precipitated by a crisis.

When things fall apart in your life, you feel as if your whole world is crumbling.

But actually it’s your fixed identity that’s crumbling.

And as Chögyam Trungpa used to tell us, that’s cause for celebration. 

"The planet does not need more 'successful people'. The planet desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds. It needs people to live well in their places. It needs people with moral courage willing to join the struggle to make the world habitable and humane and these qualities have little to do with success as our culture has set."

- H.H.The Dalai Lama

sojourner

temporarily residing

Nature's music is never over;
her silences are pauses, not conclusions.
- Mary Webb
 

magnifique!

“Many of Danielle Richard’s paintings feature a vista, a clearing,

a door, or a window through which a feminine gaze appears to flee,

but what it truly seeks is to delve into its most intimate being.”

♥

even though I don't understand French, I love listening to it.

this looks like a lovely presentation in Danielle's honour...

A bit of history about the origin of the word 'empathy' in Art that doesn't seem to be commonly known: In 1873, the art historian and philosopher Robert Vischer was the first person credited with using the German term Einfühlung to explain how we  'feel into' or the 'in-feeling of' works of arts and nature. His father, Friedrich Theodor Vischer, had previously used a similar term Einfühlen in explorations of Idealism relative to architectural form.

In the late 1800s the Father of Experimental Psychology William Wundt used empathy in terms of human relationships but still from an art-based position, saying 'when empathizing with a work of art, the beholder physically imitates the object and imaginatively projects himself into the object.'

A student of Wundt's, Theodor Lipps, transfered empathy to psychology in an attempt to explain how we discover that other people have selves, though he presented many examples from the visual arts, including 'when I observe a circus performer on a hanging wire, I feel I am inside him'.

Freud got in there then with 'putting oneself in another person's position', and in 1909, a psychologist named Edward Titchener translated Einfühlung into the adjective 'empathic' which he defined as the appreciation of another person's feelings, or the process of humanizing objects,

of reading or feeling ourselves into them.

From then on it seems like the art/aesthetic origin was no longer referred to, and around 1929 it started to get confusing when philosophers began arguing that empathy was more cognitive than emotional, and ever since then the lines between empathy and sympathy have been blurred, empathy commonly referring to cognitive function and sympathy to feeling, though they are often used interchangeably in today's society (this confusion clearly illustrated especially in the comments here). It also became a political tool; it can be very politically incorrect to be non-empathetic, and to be sympathetic has its own weakness/negative connotations as well.

I would like to see the downfalls of this confusion around

the word empathy and how it is being used as a distraction illustrated more clearly and spoken of more often,

as Edwin Friedman does in the fascinating book

A Failure of Nerve, where he says that the increased popularity of empathy is largely a symptom of the 'herding/togetherness forced characteristic of an

anxious society'.

I personally align with the earlier meaning of empathy in which I see the roots being represented aesthetically

('the science of feelings') through the arts as early (and likely even earlier) as the mid-1700's when Johann Georg Sulzer said that 'art is the expression of a psychological state of man; it imitates human nature in that it expresses nature through the representation of an object.'

Going with this version of empathy and distinguishing it from sympathy by defining it simply as having loyalty, support, or favor with, ultimately paves the way for less semantic confusion and more opportunity to...

throw all of this out the window!

and just be compassionate.

that is, recognize our shared humanity.

♥

Feel life.

Be life.

Accept life.

oh twelve

budding flower

It's so clear that you have to cherish everyone.

I think that's what I get from these older black women,

that every soul is to be cherished,

that every flower Is to bloom.
~Alice Walker

 

sand... close up

Be master of your petty annoyances

and conserve your energies

for the big, worthwhile things.

It isn't the mountain ahead that wears you out,

it's the grain of sand in your shoe.
~Robert Service

♥